Monsters UnboundAre you a monster?
You may just be a monster...
- If you can't tell the difference between your breath and your farts... you may just be a monster!
- If your your nostril hairs are tickling someone else... you may just be a monster!
- If "crusty" describes your eyes (or your personality), you may just be a monster.
- If your bath tub has more rings than Saturn... you may just be a monster.
- If your toothbrush keeps getting stuck in your teeth... you may just be a monster!
- If your feet smell, and your nose runs... you may just be an upside down monster.
- If your breath smells like cat farts... you are definitely a monster!
- If you can braid your nostril hairs... you may just be a monster!
- If your eyebrows get caught in your mouth... you may just be a monster!
- If your butt itches, and you like it, you may just be a monster!
- If you can lick your eyebrows... you may just be a monster!
- If you can put your elbow in your ear... you may just be a monster!
- If your teeth are longer than your tongue... you may just be a monster!
- If you eat chickens... with the heads and feathers still on... you may just be a monster!
- If your burps rattle the windows... you may just be a monster!
- If your feet have more hair than your head... you may just be a monster!
- If the smell of your farts makes flies' eyes water... you may just be a monster!
- If you enjoy the smell of your own farts... you may just be a monster! If you enjoy the smell of OTHERS' farts... you are DEFINITELY a monster!!!
- If your curtains blow around from your snoring... you may just be a monster!
- If your farts smell better than your breath... you may just be a monster!
- If you can't remember the last time you bathed... you may just be a monster!!!
- If your toenails are longer than your toes... you may just be a monster!
- If your farts can peel paint... you may just be a monster!
- If your breath smells like your butt... you may just be a monster!
- If your lips smack you in the cheek when you shake your head… you may just be a monster.
- If you can make a small sculpture from your ear wax... you may just be a monster.
- If you can bite your own nose... you may just be a monster!
- If you wake up in the middle of the night UNDER the bed... you may just be a monster!
- If you attract flies in the shower... you may just be a monster!
- If you can see your eyebrows without looking in the mirror... you may just be a monster!
- If your underwear has more skid marks than a NASCAR racetrack... you may just be a monster.
- If mosquitos are afraid to sting you... you may just be a monster.
- If your mother has a thicker beard than your father... you may just be a monster!
- If you can't see the forest because of your eyebrows... you may just be a monster!
- If you've got ear beards, you may just be a monster!
- If your eyebrows get knotted up in your ear beards... you may just be a monster!
- If you keep tripping over your hands... you may just be a monster!
- If you use a garbage can lid as your dinner plate... you may just be a monster!
- If you use your boogers to seal envelopes... you may just be a monster!
- If your breath is often mistaken for farts... you may just be a monster!
- If your circumference measures more than your height... you may just be a monster!
- If your eyes really are bigger than your stomach... you may just be a monster!
- If you can stick your elbow in your ear... you may just be a monster. If you stick it in someone else's ear... you are definitely a monster!
- If your fart bubbles get stuck between your cheeks... you may just be a monster!
- If you throw poo... you may just be a monster!
- If your motto is, "I stink, therefore I am"... you may just be a monster!
- If your scale spins like a roulette wheel when you step on it... you may just be a monster!
- If the hair in your nose tickles your lip, you may just be a monster!
- If bodily fluids and gas sounds make you laugh, you may just be a monster.
- If you can pick your nose with your teeth... you may just be a monster!
- If your farts make your dog leave the room... you may just be a monster!
- If, when you walk, your butt bounces... against your heels... you may just be a monster!
- If your vacuum cleaner is covered with dust and cobwebs... you may just be a monster!
- If your dust bunnies are more like dust buffaloes... you may just be a monster!
- If you can bite your own elbow... you may just be a monster! (How many of you are trying it right now?)
- If you have calloused hands... just from walking... you may just be a monster!
- If you have holes in your sneakers because of your toenails... you may just be a monster!
- If your bubble bath is made from fart bubbles… you may just be a monster!
- If you use your tongue to clean your ears… you may just be a monster!
Mark and Glenn are always coming up with more monstrous analogies. To see more, or to add your own, like us on Facebook.
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